09.19.06
“F” for Fake
I’m losing my crowd, I can sense it. The problem is that I fell the need to write nice and funny posts that require more then one second, but for that I must have a muse, and you know how these chicks are, very unpredictable. Therefore, I’m willing to suffer for my art. I prefer quality to popularity. I hope that the ones who stay my dedicated readers, will do the same (word of advice, the “Goodbye Lenin” ost, that accompanies my humble attempts to indulge you, might to well to the reading process as well).
Allow me to start with some sad news (and I do hope my Mom wouldn’t try to read the blog again, at the first attempt she called me and said that she didn’t understand much, but she did get that part when I’m saving on food to buy boots. Naturally she was very worried. So, Mom, this part is not for you. And yes, I might have decored my body in my early twenties). I went to the dentist today and he was kind enough to surgically remove my wisdom tooth (the one that Fima didn’t take out, and is going to be sued for like there’s no tomorrow). You see my dear friends, I get so smart here that my wisdom tooth gets inflated. So no more smart stuff for me. Just ice cream, penicillin and a world of pain from a nice little Korean doctor. I hate him. And want to die in general. And have 3 stitches. And was in bed all day, not studying. My new friend Daniella came back from her Mom’s coronation and even required upon my health. Very kind of her.
But enough about that, let me tell you about the fun I’m having. In reverse chronological order: Yesterday I went to a road trip to the Amish countryside, they were very friendly and dressed funny. The name of their village is Intercourse (you can’t even imagine the amount of silly jokes we came up with. And it still goes on). The Amish are very nice and willing to sell their unique lifestyle to the higher bidder (or to any tourist that comes to town). I got a souvenir key chain that says “I heart Intercourse”. Amazing. 
On Saturday we (and by that I mean me, Daniel the German, Ernesto the Colombian, David the Spanish, Jose from Dominican Republic and Ana-Lucia from Panama) went to Atlantic city. Another nice road trip with the guys. Who would have thought that Atlantic City is such a crappy place?! I bet you all are saying that “well, yeah, Vegas is the real thing, this is just a pitiful copy” but I’m sure that Vegas is the same shit, only bigger. The stench of ripoff was surrounding us. I lost 10 bucks at the Taj-Mahal (Trump) casino, and felt that i got out cheap. But the stench didn’t let go. Crappy city. Even the beach was so so (although it is an ocean… respect…).
Andrey-if you are reading this, I’m not being whiny, it’s just a healthy criticism. Before that I was whiny but I had my tooth extracted, so I have a good reason.
Speaking of criticism, since I’m only hanging out with my European (and South American) pudding, I must say that the American have seldom managed to win my appreciation. And they still are stupid, over-patriotic and self-righteous. But what do you know, maybe the Michael is yet to come. My writing instructor in school is Canadian, and they, I think, are better. At least in some aspects…
On Friday I was invited to a lovely dinner of caserol and wine (pictures are to come soon) with some people. After the dinner I refused to join them for a “back-to-school” party or one must say that a more appropriate name would be the “let’s-dress-all-the-girls-as-catholic school-girls-and-get-really-drunk”. I officially can declare that my catholic school girl period is over (for those of you who remember, that is, Noam, but he isn’t reading). Sad? Who knows. This whole growing up thing is pretty sad, but then again, it gives you a more complete feeling (and wisdom tooth). Or maybe not.
But I did go to a party the week before that, and that was a cool one, in an amazing house in the old city, crowded rooms, wooden floor, cigarette smoke, goodwine, handsome men… The whole deal. Got drunk, danced, took a taxy home. nice.
I think it’s enough for today. I also had a very strange dinner with a Jewish girl from law school who didn’t stop talking about dead babies in jars and Lindsy lohan’s vagina (as seen here… http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060906/lohan%20venice00/llven2.html it’s ok, you can go and check, go on… I would tell). But I think I can skip this story or just save it for next time). And also went for a beer with an Irish guy and had him saying funny things in Irish and Scottish accents.
As you can see, my adventures in the big city continue. Next week is babysitting Chip and Rosh-ha-shana. Until then, God bless us all.
P.S. What to do with all the pennies? And how how to keep my readers loyal? Maybe something with Guantanamo bay? The big book of caves showing his signs again…
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
19 September, 2006 at 6:54 am
how to keep your readers loyal?
better pictures of lindsey lohan…
himmelroman said,
21 September, 2006 at 8:38 pm
how about a sof porn movie starring:
1. Daniel the German
2. Ernesto the Colombian
3. David the Spanish
4. Jose from Dominican Republic
5. Ana-Lucia from Panama
something like a Red Light District party in Babylon…
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
23 September, 2006 at 6:10 am
Hey Lika,
Shana Tova and Hag Sameah!
Asaf said,
24 September, 2006 at 1:40 am
Hello hello,
and shana tova vemetuka
I like the “F for fake” title
very witty. But than again, everything over there sounds witty, even the amish towns name… I want to go to america too 
About the pennies… for one, you can go to one of those wishing fountains and make lots of wishes… statistically some of them have to come true
And about the readers… don’t worry. Until now each one of your posts recieved lots of comments… just keep being your witty self
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
25 September, 2006 at 1:43 pm
as always I am kinda hijacking likas blog… (sorry)
but well, nobody is reading it but me and lika anyway…. so enjoy…
Zurich Chronicles #1
I could have started describing how beautifull is Switzerland from birds’ sight… the lakes, the rivers, the vast meadows and the aged forests…
the small villages made from white cottages with red wood roofs… completely out of time, detached from reality, as if they were cut from an old tale or a cartoon…
But i wont, since all the beauties were hidden behind a thick curtain of foggy weather and rain clouds…
and yet, Switzerland is a beautiful country from mans sign also… little streets of zurich, with a special lane for a “tram-way” ( they call it just like in russia) every body is nice and polite…. everything is green, there is no buildings higher than six floors, and most of the houses are lower the tree line…
on every street here there is a bank, hotel and a sex shop…. which is weird… ( i think…) but they probably got nothing more to do than put the money in a bank, rent room in a hotel, and to entertain themselves with the recent purchase from the sex shop….
everything is clean, and the women, the women are gorgeous…. and NOBODY is smoking…
)
hotel room is nice and classy… old european style, with high ceilings and candelabras…. green carpet cover the floor… and padded walls ( i wander why…
the fall is beautiful.. the golden red leaves covering all the alleys… swirling in the wind….. covering the river….. i can watch it forever…. incomparable to nothing in israel…
I have entered a nice restaurant, and ordered a vegeterian meal…
oh well , my first sin a day after a new year… what a way to start… 
( vegetable soup, and a patuchinni with mushrooms) .. although it suposed to be vegetarian… I could taste and smell the the pork fat in the soup.. and gravy for the patuchinni…
but not everything is perfect… Switzerland is maybe a free country but the internet is not free, it actually VERY expencive… to connect the local ISP via my WI-FI i have to pay 15 swiss francs for 2 hours…. which is ALOT….
and the timer is off… so i better finish now….
but hey…. there is no heaven on earth…. just to keep the proportions… next time any one spend time at the Bahamas or Virgin islands…. just ask how much the internet cost…. and you will feel like there is no place like home….
likas said,
25 September, 2006 at 2:29 pm
What the fuck are you doing in Switzerland?!
And wouldn’t you recon that you should at least ask for a permission to hog on my blog and my faithful readers?!
What ere you thinking just marching in with your little cottages and the swirly autumn leaves?! There’s an autumn here in Philly as well you know… And lakes (rivers actually)! I can do that too, and we even have kashtani i jeludi!
Oh well…
Shana Tova Haverim.
P.S Asaf, you are most wellcome, just take a week off and come over, I’ll take you to the best places in town, and if you’re a good boy, then even to a salsa club
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
26 September, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Hey Lika, thank you for your permission to use your lovely blog, (:
I am working, thats why I am in Switzerland.
Zurich part #2
I think Switzerland was the inspiration for the third Reich, they all tall blond people with blue eyes…. from a construction worker to businessman or professor… That’s scary…. Of course there are some immigrants who are working at “kebab” shops selling shawarma or Pizza booth selling pizza or hot-dogs, but the main population is very homogenic.
Have I mentioned that women here actually have a taste and know how to dress? Even the ugly women look good… (:
They have blond policemen, blond construction workers, blond lingerie sellers, blond tourists, and blond tramway drivers…
Another astounding notion: THEY ALL ACTUALLY WORK!
In contrast to Tel Aviv where all the inhabitants of this sorry city, do nothing but sitting in cafes’ or beaches’ and people who work are Romanians or old Russians, here you see people working, but like everybody…
they got building architecture with big windows, so you can see people work, engineers and architects, tailors and office workers, you can see them all working! You walk the street, you peek at a window and you don’t see some “freha” chewing gum… or talking to her mom… you see people working!
Most of the men wear suit and a tie, which is bad, cause I had two days to learn how to tie a tie… so I pre-made all of them and now I got a tied-tie for every day here… (:
and yes I am wearing a tie right now…
and no I dont have a picture….. (:
Their traffic lights are something different, first NOBODY (except me) is crossing the road not on the “zebra”… there is a traffic light with arrows, I mean there is green light with arrow for “forward” and green light with arrow for “turn left” and the same for red light… the pedestrian traffic light got three colors also, not the green and red, but a yellow also, yellow light means, the cars still got red, but you can’t start crossing the road.
the cars are all new from european vendors: mercedes, opel, audi, ferrary, porshe, lancia, alfa-romeo, volvo….
there are almost no japanese nor american cars, and all new, about half of the cars on the street are convertable or with two seats, they got GPS inside their radio, coming with the car as a default… grrrrrr
They got really big swans in the river, REALLY big; these swans can easily overcome a Roth-viler or a Doberman…(:
but again. Not every thing here is milk and honey… its all very expensive…
how expensive? In numbers everything cost exactly as in Israel, but its in Swiss francs, which means three times more.
Cup of tea/coffee –10 sfc, coca-cola 4.5 sfc, dinner at restaurant 60 sfc, shirt 69 sfc, jacket 700 sfc etc
but I wont have time to spent in Zurich as i planned ):
I am taking night train to Geneva…..
If ill have the time i will post there something…. meanwile…
bye…
Meh,inventing names is hard said,
27 September, 2006 at 5:52 am
Haha u droped me of my chair with the third reich part
Anyway a very nice blog, had alot of fun reading it. I hope u all are having a great time wherever u are 
likas said,
27 September, 2006 at 4:15 pm
No, seriously, how does it even make any sense? People I don’t know are leaving comments to Yossi’s bloody adventures in fucking Zurich! And c’mon “…the lights are so weird, they have arrows… and the people are so blond… and they all work…” Really?!
I mean, I know it’s your first time in Europe, but please, it’s not that much of a cultural shock, “and the swans are so big… like nothing in Israel…” give me a break…
I actually met a Swiss guy here, and he told me that not all the people are blond and not all of them are working (although he of course looks like one of Michelangelo’s angels).
So there you go!
And go get your own blog, it’s for free you know.
And I want to know who leaves anonymous comments.
This is getting out of hand… Serious action is required…
Meh,inventing names is hard said,
27 September, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Im not annonimous, im simply not as articulant as u are. So I prefer leave small messages and saying nice things then to try boring u with my typo’s and bad grammar.
hehe what did they think of when they gave them town that name heh…
My respose was about the entire blog as general since I read it all and enjoyed it very much even though i dont know u or smth but I trust Yossi’s taste in peaple. I refered Yossi’s part in particular since it was very funny
BTW i kept the”intercouse town” pic , coz its hilarius, and will use it as a on-line joke in all kinds of forums im in
P.S. if u feel liek Im a disturbace in your private realm ill respect your privacy and never post again, but ill still continue reading, i think…
likas said,
27 September, 2006 at 11:45 pm
Oh my goodness, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you off…
Of course you can read my blog and of course you can leave comments, you are most welcomed. This is what it’s all about. I was just surprised that the first comment from some one I don’t know refers to something that Yossi writes…
Without permission…
In my US blog…
About blond people in Zurich…
As in “ma ha kesher?!”
But of course you can continue to read and comment on whatever you want. And it’s a good thing that you trust Yossi’s taste in people, because I’m a very nice person…
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
29 September, 2006 at 6:37 am
Oh Lika, come on……
have a scence of sportsmanship ….
So I attract new readers , so what….. ?, its not that bad, you get an acknowledgement and artistic exposure, out of your usual social circle….
and you the blog is getting more alive…
and the biggest culture shock I got is not in Switzerland… but when I got back to Tel aviv…
but anyway…. how are you…?
I dont see you on Msgr recently….
everything is fine? how are the studies?