12.02.06
Still Spektor, but now also apple martinis…
The system failed miserably, I have tried to stick to shorter, yet more updated posts, but as you can see, its two weeks later and only now I found the long missing muse. However, let’s not let this discourage us, do stick with me dear friends, and allow me to indulge you some more with my quest in the land of the free and the home of the brave.
First allow me to say that I’m definitely getting too old for this crap. Going out 4 or 5 nights in a row is not as easy as it was in high school (did we even do that in high school?!), but I’m doing my best, and some day this effort will pay off. Maybe not in the near future, since I begin to develop early stage of alcoholism and a never ending cold, but one day it will pay off.
So, prom: I had a wonderful dress, slutty boots, little black purse and I did something weird with my hair. Dressed to kill. And then I arrive and it turns out that everybody look good (!) so nothing left but to drown my sorrow in a lot of cocktails. Mmmm, those apple martinis with the cherry at the bottom of the glass, soaked with alcohol… I could drink them forever… Thank God I had all kinds of guys bringing me the drinks (the line to the bar was very long). So the prom was very good, I still haven’t talked to any Americans, but I no longer care, the foreign students are much more fun. J
Great success (go and see Borat! Now!!) with the Polish guys — I think that it has something to do with the inferiority complex they have with the Russian people, and maybe it’s a sick way of getting their confidence back by winning a Russian girl. Or maybe it’s just because I’m so darn charming (especially when drunk).In the end, the party was over too soon, like all the parties in Philly, and around 2 my lame prom date took me home (that was his only role…) As a revenge I have dragged him with me on the next day all the way to fucking Baltimore, to listed to wonderful Regina. Oh my God, that was a great concert! If you haven’t still fallen in love with her, you obviously haven’t listened to the songs. She was the single most charming creature in the world! Her voice is enchanting, and she is so sweet… Amazing. It has been a while since I was so excited by music; I actually had tears in my eyes when she sang Après Moi. Check out the picture of the line; this is unbelievable, in no place in Israel a line like this could ever exist, it must be a parallel universe, and don’t get the picture wrong, the line goes around two more blocks, it’s fucking 5 degrees and fucking Baltimore…
The following week was also very nice, it was thanksgiving, and the university pub was rather empty since all the kiddies went to mommy and daddy home for thanksgiving, the beers were cheap and the bartenders sad and gloomy. Great times. I went to a thanksgiving dinner with some friends– humus for appetizers, turkey for main course, pumpkin pies and the whole nine yards for desert and lots ant lots of Israeli wine (it was at a Jewish guy’s place, so, all kosher). Everything was super tasty; my thanksgiving resolution is to start cooking (laugh all you wish, but c’mon! how hard can it possibly be? It’s all a matter of finding the right incentive. So is it that my thanksgiving resolution is actually to find someone I would like to cook for? Is it harder then just start cooking? I’m too confused now…). The rest of the weekend I just spent drinking, with various people in various places. As I have mentioned, early stage alcoholism. Very sad… and the girl had such a bright future… I’m sick again, and that’s the third time in two month, it seems that I can’t quite grasp the concept that outside it 5 degrees, and if I step out of a club after dancing and sweating and what not, I should better put my coat on. Let’s hope that I will learn it eventually, I’m running out of nose drops and friends’ sympathy.
I got my first American grade, it’s for a paper on Human Rights and National Security, and I got an A-, given the fact that there were no A+, I’m in a good place (especially for a little immigrant child in an single parent family, to get an A in an Ivy league school…) Like a good, and optimistic friend told me, “you can’t take the A out of the A-.” Ok, enough excuses, it’s a good grade and let’s just pray that the finals will go as smoothly. What else can I tell you, dear friends, about my struggle with Americanization? Ah, Xmas time is near and it means a few things: it’s fucking cold (still), there are Christmas trees and decorations on the streets, and sales in the shops!! Very nice… (Go see Borat, seriously, leave everything and go see it). A few days ago I went to the art museum (the one with the Rocky steps) and Rodin museum, had a very nice cultural afternoon, dragged a poor fellow with me, apparently my charming company compensates for hours of looking at some art that I find nice… Took some great pictures from Rodin’s museum and had Chinese for lunch.
The week goes by smoothly, between lessons and meek attempts to catch up with my readings. And then the weekend comes again… This weekend started with a party, the party was yesterday, now it’s 21.00 in the evening and I’m still struggling to recover. Sooo drunk… But I had a short skirt, sexy boots, a lot of fans, danced with a black guy, fell down, and now I have a bump on my forehead. How silly can one get? Apparently a lot… Let us all hope that it will help me get it all out of my system and when I come back, I’ll be finally ready to settle down and lead a quiet boring life, without black guys and vodka-cranberry. Well, the exams are coming up, time to panic, time to study all day long, muy kef.That’s it for now…
Keep in touch…
Muchos besos…
likas said,
2 December, 2006 at 3:00 am
Oh, and by the way, I don’t care any more who comments here, in what order and why.
I have a bump on my head.
There!
So sad…
Does anyone knows a good place to stay in Guatemala?
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
2 December, 2006 at 7:10 am
bahh.. just when i thought i will give up on your blog and delete it from my “favorites” you just come and post a new section, how low is that?…
“what kind of dog is this?”… ( heavy “russian” accent)
this line cracked me to pieces… i am still laughing …
though I still think that at some scenes he was very close to cross the line…
I think I would have been less PC and more agressive if I have met this dude…
( the bold guy in the most right picture is freaky… “Igor bring me the tongs!” ” yethhh mathter….” )
about regina; She is the single most charming creature in the world, I took the liberty to save the picture you posted and make it a wallpaper at my comp…
( well not really, but I thought to)
and cooking is fun… its like puzzle solving or a lego constructor… you have all the pieces and you have to make something good with them…
but of course it is better if you have someone you like to cook for…
and I will end with some polak jokes….
Q) how do you drown a polak submarine?
A1) put it in the water
A2) knock on the door, and wait for them to open.
Shabat shalom.
Polak said,
2 December, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Lika, my dear, I think you should quit law altogether, and become a psychoanalyst, your diagnosis of the mental state of Polish guys is spot on. We do have a huge inferiority complex, but I’m not sure if winning Russian girls really helps that much…After all, is it even possible to feel inferior to Russians??? Not really sure about that.
Anyway, I’ve already told you to stop worrying about developing alcoholism, sorry to disappoint you, but at this point you’re merely a recreational drinker, but not all hope is lost, keep on drinking and who knows what might happen…
Since making fun of Polaks has been a hobby of yours lately, let me give you some laughter-inducing material
Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: “Are you sure it’s yours?”
and this one which is kind of long, but it also involves Jews, so it’s kind of appropriate I would think
Three travelers, one from India, one a Jew and the third a Polak are having trouble finding a room for the night.
After much searching, they finally find an Inn with only two beds left. The innkeeper offers to let the third one of them sleep in the barn
.
They draw straws for the two beds, and the Indian is sent off to the barn for the night.
But within five minutes of the Jew and the Polak turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Indian.
“I cannot sleep in the barn,” says the Indian, “I am Hindu and there is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred to us so I cannot sleep under the same roof as one.”
The Jew volunteers to go to sleep in the barn.
But within five minutes of the Polak and the Indian turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Jew.
“I can’t sleep in the barn either,” says the Jew, “there’s a pig in the barn, and if I sleep in hay that a pig has touched, I may get some in my mouth and that wouldn’t be kosher.”
So the Polak ventures out to go to sleep in the barn.
But within five minutes of the Indian and the Jew turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the cow and the pig.
Asaf said,
2 December, 2006 at 11:52 pm
Hey there foxy lady,
Long time no speak…
Way to go with the “A” there! Was it hard considering women have a brain the size of a squirl’s brain?
By the way, did u get a chance to do the Rocky dance of victory on those stairs? if so, did u take a picture?
There is a new Rocky movie coming out. Probably a lot of commotion over there in philly…
Anyway, keep up the good work,
and give us a smile, pussycat
Much success
and have a sexy time!
adi said,
3 December, 2006 at 1:10 pm
why didn’t you put any picture of you falling down and getting a bump on your head ??? more interesting then Rodin’s museum…and funny.
good luck with your exams. i’ll give you some tips about guatemala soon. hasta luego.
himmelroman said,
4 December, 2006 at 8:33 am
hey…
I didn’t sleep all night so I’m gona’ be weird now.
I must say that the pictures from the prom don’t look like a party at all… it looks more like an opening of some gallery… and the bold guy is indeed quite dreadful !
some of you might despise me for disrespecting all that is reminds manners and a solid way of life… but:
1. I somehow got the part of the guy who shits on everything in this blog… so I must keep up the reputation.
2. I do disrespect it
I like most charming creatures in the world… so maybe I’ll give a try to regina… though her name still bothers me.
I wrote a song to aid you with the cooking issue:
“Cooking is easy with eyes closed…
misunderstanding what you do…
Its getting hard to cook for someone, but it all works out
It doesn’t matter much you see…”
The line… everyone must mention the line…
I rule!)
I wonder if so many people would assemble some 2000 years ago in one place, would the all stay alive?
It would probably have ended with a stone barrage or a massive bludgeoning of the wicked.
(did anyone notice the past perfect?
(I also wonder if it was correct…)
Now, I have an urge to bring up something, several time throughout this post, I had my excitement built up and then disappointed.
1. When the guy from the prom got only one role
2. When there was drunken dancing with a black guy(!!) which ended with a stinky bump.
Is it only I who has a devious mind? doesn’t it bother you?
This is the lowest form of teasing that exists.
That’s it. I’m done.
himmelroman said,
4 December, 2006 at 8:42 am
no! I’m not done.
I have a joke:
Hitler, Eichmann and Mendale are sitting in a cafe…
Eichmann says: Let’s take all the jews, put them in concentration camps and use them for hard labor! then they will stop stealing our jobs!
Hitler and Mendale: yeah… good idea.
Mendale says: Let’s take all the jewish twins, old men, and retards and do some medical experiments on them!
Hitler and Eichmann: yeah… good idea.
Hitler says: Let’s take all the jews, put them concentration camps, use them for hard labor, take their kids and old people, do medical experiments on them, then poison them in showers, shoot them into mass graves in forests and burn their bodies!
Eichmann and Mendale: fuck man… isn’t it a little Nazi?
likas said,
6 December, 2006 at 3:58 pm
You are weird, (go get some sleep kiddo) but that’s why we like you and that’s why we keep you around. That, and your child-like enthusiasm of correct usage of past perfect.
But you know the difference between a prom and a regular party is that everybody are dressed like it’s an opening of a gallery. Some like it more then others. I guess that the day I see you wearing a suit, would be the day that would be remembered as “hey, do you remember that day I gave him a million dollars to wear a suit”…
About that devious mind of yours: of course it’s teasing, and of course this is not the place and the time to elaborate…
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
7 December, 2006 at 12:42 pm
remember the intercourse village?
well, this one is close
http://www.banderasnews.com/0611/nw-fucking-austria.htm
himmelroman said,
21 December, 2006 at 8:32 pm
hi everybody,
I just wanted to come out with something here:
I am totally addicted to Regina Spektor.
I’ve listened to Begin To Hope 4 times today…
and now I’m listening to Soviet Kitsch…
My eMule is working hard on the discography… it’s on 60% percent…
(now you’re all supposed to say you love me.)
HaventDecidedOnaNameYet said,
22 December, 2006 at 7:19 pm
Haha..
youre not special… it happen to anyone who listen to her five minutes…
it happened to me, it happened to you, it happened to evrybody else, and it will happen in the future to all the mankind….
soon all the colombian drug lords will bankrupt cause all the junkies will listen to Regina Spektor instead of taking dope…
haleluya…
himmelroman said,
4 January, 2007 at 6:14 pm
I hope you guys listen to the earlier albums…
They are SO MUCH better than begin to hope!!
especially now, after not listening to virtually anything else for the last two weeks… I lost myself entirely inside her.
Listening to agonizing stories that people tell me… in search of a wise advice…
I find myself replying: “you know… pickle jars are just pickle jars, and pickles are just pickles”